Single in the City - Is it better?
By Madison Barton
September 2024 marks the start of my second year in the city, but something has changed. This time I am single. Luckily for me, New York City recently got voted the worst city in the US for dating, in case you didn't know.
Due to the evil invasion of dating apps.
Hinge, Bumble, Tinder. Where the men of New York play the field with the unsuspecting girls of New York. Being newly single and naive I immediately downloaded all three of these apps. New York has fallen prey to being a city of hookup culture, a revolving door of one-night stands and talking stages that all seem to end the same way.
Sorry to sound pessimistic about my ambitions of dating in the city but believe me they are well-founded.
Storytime - Recently my friend posed a question after watching 'Sex in the City', Is it better to be single in New York or have a committed relationship? Having experienced both I felt somewhat qualified to answer I honestly don't know. My bad Hinge dates made for entering dinner conversation and casual hook-ups were a good way to fill the time. My relationship was fulfilling but had it's ups and downs. The way I see it dating in New York has two main caveats.
One, meeting someone in real life is hard. The rise of evil dating apps means that most people no longer care to go out to bars or coffee shops and flirt with strangers. Maybe because the men of my generation lack the confidence to approach a girl or maybe because they simply cannot bear to have thier ego shattered by rejection. Whatever the reason meeting someone in person is becoming less and less likely. The love stories of my generation are reduced to swipes because she was hot, or sliding into Instagram DMs. Gone are the days of meeting in a bookshop and finding true love at a music festival.
Two, hookup culture. As a college student hook-up culture is not news to me or anyone else it is embedded in the floors of dorms and lecture halls. But New York being the overachiever that it is seems to have taken it to a new level, these timid guys who won't approach you in person but have no problem asking you fuck in their car on Tinder. (Yes I was asked this.) While I have no issue with no-strings-attached sex it is all New York has to offer, the hint of commitment and New York men fly out the door onto the next woman.
Now, not all hope is lost. I recently had a date with a guy who approached me in the street and asked for my number. The date was in Dumbo we watched the sunset and talked for hours. He was kind and handsome and that story is still unravelling.
On the other hand, a friend of mine went out on a Hinge date with this guy she thought could be the start of something. However, on his profile, it said he was 22, 6ft and currently attending NYU. In reality, he was 24, 5.6ft and had dropped out of college to pursue his music career. Their date went about as well as you can imagine.
However, I can't help but feel some sympathy for the men of New York as well. In these times of cancel culture, you have to watch your words and I am sure many find that the risk of being cancelled is not worth a date. Even if you do get a date you have to pay the ridiculous price for dinner or buy a $25 cocktail. The comforts of easy hook-ups provided by Tinder or Hinge do seem to be a simpler way. That does not excuse the fast-paced love the city offers but it does offer some understanding to the unsuspecting college girls looking for real love.
Being single in New York is a rough place to be, as all of the seasons and movies of 'Sex in the City' have already taught us. The fairytales of meeting the love of life in a somewhat interesting way may be behind us. But it is also so fun to be a single girl in New York, and you don't have to date to enjoy the city.
So to answer the question my friend posed, I don't think it is better to be single in the city. But that does not mean I don't enjoy it, I enjoyed my relationship and being single equally, however, my single life has proved to be more eventful.
Storytime - My first Hinge date was with a tall pretty-looking guy who went to an Ivy League college he brought me pasta and wine (the way to my heart), but when he talked I could have fallen asleep on the table. I am not here to expose anyone but that was a pretty shit date. It ended suddenly after we finished our food and he had walked me home.
Dating in New York takes thick skin, to brush off the creeps but I would avoid dating apps when possible as it often leads to a funny story but a wasted night.