New York City: The Best & Worst City to be a Female – Rich or Broke

Never have I experienced so many free things and experiences than I have in New York City.

Never have I experienced so many predatory looks, catcalls, and actions than I have in New York City.

The Blond.

Palace.

The Box.

The Fleur Room.

Paul's Casablanca.

TAO.

The names among the most exclusive nightclubs in NYC. Whether you're underage or not, sometimes being a pretty, confident girl is all you need. It seemed to be all I needed. Money is not what you need (at least as a girl). At all these clubs, you can bet I didn't spend a dime. I like clubbing, but not enough that, as a broke, international college student, I can and will spend all the money that I have (in my already ridiculously frugal budget) on $70 shots, 3x a week. To this day, I've only ever bought 1 drink at a bar in New York City, and it was my first NYC night out.

Whether I'm going to bars or whether I'm going to clubs, the drinks I drink don't get paid for with the money out of my pocket. Many may think that I must be throwing myself over men left and right, practically drooling on them to get these drinks, but I'm not. As a girl in NYC, these men approach you, surprisingly not always in some creepy way. I've had it happen outside the club where promoters help us just to get in, I've had it where we're already in and they ask if my friends and I would like to come to their tables and get drinks (lots of times in which they've left me alone after), I've had it in bars where completely sober men who never drink ask the bartender 3 times and check up on them to see if I've gotten my Martini I've ordered (I want to reiterate that it wasn't in pushy ways or overbearing clingy, it felt more like it came out of a place of nice gesture in which after we got our drinks could be left alone and enjoy ourselves).

It's not always men.

(Storytime) -> Dancing one time at Paul's I got to talking to this married couple celebrating their anniversary, showing us pictures of their cute children, drinking Don Julio 1942 (exact night and bottle pictured below) and of course, offering my friends and I some. One of my friends gently refused the tequila giving the reasoning that she only drinks vodka, tequila gave her too much of a headache. We went back to dancing with the couple at their table, the people around us, each other, 5 mins later a 1.75litre light up bottle of Belvedere vodka gets carried onto the couples table. The couple offering us vodka and as we transitioned the night into us celebrating them and as it was their vodka, we kept insisting they have some first. This request was refused as they said they were sticking to the tequila, they're reasoning for buying it was for us…A 1.75 litre light up bottle of Belvedere bought for my friends and I.

This story may sound creepy if you choose to read it like that and some may try argue their were ulterior motives, etc, but I want to reiterate how safe the environment felt, how safe these parents felt towards us.

As girls in NYC we know why many men buy us drinks, bring us into clubs, etc. We know the dangers that can come with it, we aren't stupid, we're aware. We know how to feel a vibe and we know how to stay together. The thing with constantly getting into the most exclusive clubs and getting free drinks is that we're used to it (as bad as it may sound to some). We're used to it meaning that if we don't like the vibe, if we aren't having fun, if we feel uncomfortable, we just leave. Simple.

I think the dangerous part of this is the girls that aren't used to this type of clubbing, that's when it becomes a whole lot more dangerous. Many girls get caught up in the 'socialite' vibe that partying in NYC can unfortunately be all about, the idea that you have to be/must be a 'New York 10'. They aren't used to getting into boujee clubs or receiving free drinks, because of this they might not know how to handle they're alcohol and overdrink, they may put themselves in uncomfortable situations in hopes of entering a club, etc.

Big group of people, harder to get into a club, right? Not always.

(Storytime) -> 7 of us were behind 3 people waiting to get into a club, the people in front all had their ID's checked (as they should've) and then were slowly let into the club. Not even a 2 word conversation to the bouncer of exchanging hello's, he let us in without checking our ID's. He asked how many are there of us, in which we responded '7', a quick glance from him, he said 'you're all 21 right?' almost in a rhetorical way, we said 'yes' and began pulling out our ID's in which he shunned them away, said 'nah, you're all good' and then moved to the side to let us into this club.

No. It's not always safe and, honestly, it's not always fun. 

'Free' nightlife in NYC as a girl, relatively easy. Having stalkers in NYC as a girl, very easy. Having catcallers in NYC as a girl, always. Having people stare in NYC as a girl, improbable.

Chelsea triangle. Where one of my friends was followed mid-day for 10 blocks. One of the most sought after neighbourhoods in NYC, where many celebrities are spotted, you wouldn't necessarily expect it, but as a girl in NYC, it doesn't always matter where you are.

Welcome to New York City (as a girl). 

Is it fun? "Exclusive or Dive, which is better?" coming soon...

By Tia Rüst